he in some ways doesn't act interested in me because he is in his own world and doesn't ask questions about me etc. we have great physical passion and chemistry but any little thing and he will lose his erection.
he so easily just shuts down physically and then mentally. he has no desire for oral sex (said he had a bad experience) but won't even let me do it to him even though one time he did and he really enjoyed it (it was quite obvious) but he hasn't let me since.
he'll go days without calling me even after we have a wonderful night together.
so there's this roller coaster of emotion where i feel great with him and then he'll suddenly shut down and close me off but not even care or realize how it affects me. will he ever have sex without a condom even if i'm on the pill?
I found out on one particular morning the only reason he jumped up at 6am to race home was to wash his clothes, even though he had all day to do it (he didn't have to be anywhere). he makes no apologies for who he is and i like that but i'm having trouble dealing with some of this, esp. he never thinks to call me or tell me he's thinking of me or reassure me when we're together but i know he likes me. he has told me that he has had panic attacks before and was even hospitalized once for it.
he doesn't take medication or doesn't want to or feel the need to but said that he is better now than he was 10 years ago.
it's hard not to take this stuff personally and think it's me, or that he's losing interest, or that he isn't thinking of me etc.
But you don't just have to be someone who carries the burden of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to relate to this moving piece.
he will only wear condoms and does not want me on the pill.
that and his refusal to give me oral sex makes me feel "dirty" or something.
Poet Neil Hilborn was at the 2013 Rustbelt Regional Poetry Slam when he gave this heartbreaking performance. To top it all off, he reveals how his OCD makes it so that he obsesses over the memory of her.
Titled "OCD," the love poem chronicles Hilborn finding (and losing) love, all because of his Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Breakups are hard enough as is — imagine literally never being able to stop thinking about the one who left.